What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

What are the causes of over sweating?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I have BPD. Why do I destroy everyone I love?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do some people dislike rap and hip hop music despite there being poor quality music in every genre?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

My boyfriend wants to break up over too many petty arguments. To me, they are molehills because I truly love him & don't really think twice about them. If he loved me would he work through it?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.